Saturday, September 8, 2007

Two of my favorite words put together- disgust me.

Q: What's the difference between a Palmetto Bug and a Cockroach?
A: About $80,000.

When I first moved to The South, I was warned about bugs, specifically this one. There's more of them down here than any of the other states I've lived in and though they are not as much of a nuisance as New Hampshire Black Flies, they will scare the shit out of you when you snap on the light in the garage sending them scurrying from the recycle bin.
I had my share of roaches when I lived in a crude brownstone in Rochester next to the Indian curry lovers and above the Jamaican family, but I learned to keep my eyes shut and the light off in my evening bathroom visits.

After a recent roach invasion from shed and garage to laundry room, for some reason?? I set out traps and discussed
with my son the possible eradication of all insects from our abode.

Me: I wonder what animal eats cockroaches? We could import them and sell them to people, like cats for mice and ladybugs for aphids.
He: What if you could train bugs to fight each other, like at night when you're sleeping.
Me: Like with toothpick swords and bottle cap shields?
He: Yeah, and in the morning there would be little bug corpses everywhere.
Me. Yeah, and they would evolve so that they grew weapons out of their pinchers-
He: -like howitzers and bazookas !
Me: That would blow tiny holes in your feet!
He: Ok. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.
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