Saturday, November 22, 2008

If only I didn't have a thing about short men.

I could have been rich four times over. Short men like the Linda.
It's too bad I like my high heels, too bad that I grew up with the notion that my ideal lover would be able sweep me off my feet, carry me away to the bedroom- or Morocco- a notion for this tallish girl that features an over six-foot tall, well-built man.
It's doubly unfortunate for me and my small mindedness, because as you may have noticed- out there in the world- short men are compensators.
Which is lucky for the short women who marry these men, as one of their compensatory gifts is the acquisition of wealth.
Perhaps...because you can't buy height? Though you can buy these.
Yes, It's too bad that I am in love with my tall husband, that I will never be able to get over the short factor, because I really liked this short guys house yesterday... and man, I bet he has a fast red sportscar or two in his 5 car garage. Though, hey, we can be friends, right?

Funny thing was, from all the photos in the house, the owner looked tall...but when he walked through the sports bar on the terrace level, I knew instantly who he was and nudged my girlfriends, saying, "That's the guy."
"What guy?"
"The guy that owns this 12000 square foot 4 million dollar house, the guy who hung Braveheart's sword on his wall, signed by Mel Gibson, the guy who left the mess in the workout room shower."
And after we met him and complimented him on his house and his college football team's success, we walked out his back door, past the pool house and sighed, all agreeing, "Figures, he'd be a short guy."

We saw two other houses, one was a designer home where each room was decorated by a professional design team.
here's a sample of the price list in this home that's for sale:

The only thing I would have bought from the room was a folk-artsy aviary painting, which of course, I neglected to photograph. it was only $825. A relative bargain.
Upstairs we met another fabric designer and asked her if she had anything to do with the $2700 library drapes.
We all took her card when she rolled her eyes and said, "Honey, my husband was unemployed for 5 years, I understand a budget."
She created these:
and had the cajones to put a cow rug in a bathroom. I know. I love her.In the baby's room, I was impressed with the trompe l'oeil artwork, ( not this impressed - hey, that guy's hot.) but was floored when I saw the classiest diaper bag EVER.
I asked the younger gals if they knew the brand, and they didn't. I went through the short list of recent births and came up with a cousin, but thought since she didn't bother telling me she was pregnant, or that she'd HAD the baby, she wasn't someone I was going to send a $140 diaper bag to- even if I did find it online for $105.

Is there a wrap up to this post? From short men to cow rugs to diaper bags, suffice it to say, I had a fun day with two friends I don't see enough.

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