Sunday, December 14, 2008

A non-traditional Christmas tale, which still might have a moral.

She had been dating him since college let out for the summer. She was calling him the summer boyfriend, the guy who was friends with her girlfriend's boyfriend, a guy her own sister used to have the hots for. Convenience and revenge made for an interesting coupling.
He repaired speedboats, played basketball and could dance- well. For those things she could forgive his moodiness, his mumbling, his desire to spend more time with the guys than her. Summer turned to Fall, and they were still an item. She went to his family functions, hung out at his house, teased his dad about liking the WWF.
It seemed only natural that she would buy him a gift at Christmas. She'd listened to the dropped hints, checked his clothing sizes and splurged when a sale came up at a popular men's store.
Two weeks before Christmas he broke up with her over the phone.
She unwrapped the clothes, tore up the boxes and returned everything to the store, telling the clerk her boyfriend has decided to ask for skis instead, what a crazy guy, huh?
Then she took the money, bought booze and drugs and went to an old high school girl's holiday party, sharing a ride with her sister's fiancee- a guy who had always been nice to her and now was even nicer that she had booze and drugs and was willing to share.
The ex-boyfriend turned up at the party with a bunch of loud mouthed guys and she left with her sister's fiancee, a guy who touched her thigh in the back of the car and tried to kiss her- promising he'd never tell.
She slapped him and warned her sister, but six months later they were married. At the reception, the band played Bad Moon Rising and she made out with one of the groom's brothers in the limo- a man who told her he was divorced.
By Christmas, the sister's marriage was over, he'd left her a week after returning from the long honeymoon, leaving a goodbye note on the counter next to the garage door opener. He and his brother- the not really divorced at all one were going into business together, and his girlfriend wanted him to move in.
Merry Christmas.

2 comments:

Churlita said...

Wow. Thanks for that. No matter how much stress I have over the holidays this year, it's still nothing compared to that.

Badness Jones said...

Yikes.