Saturday, September 15, 2007

Since we aren't using it, maybe I should rent my Wii to OLD PEOPLE.


My daughter got a Wii for bringing home all A's last year. We have played the thing maybe 5 times. We have 3 game discs, and none of them thrill me. Any ideas?
Recent articles, possibly Nintendo propaganda, have pointed out the health benefits for the mature members of our society of playing Wii games, such as bowling. Personally, I never liked real bowling that much. All that pressure, those bright lights and banging rock music, the idea that everyone in my lane and possibly two over is watching my ass as I sashay up to the line and slip over it in my goofy number 9's. Yeah, I can pass on bowling, unless it's black light bowling and tequila shots at Jillian's.

But then that just reminds me of Tweaker Bowling days in San Diego, in the 80's when I hung out with a bunch of questionables. As in, you'd meet them and immediately have questions.
One time, I went to one of the questionable guys' house with my boyfriend to play cards, or dice, or Twister. It could have been all three.

The guy's common law wife- because that's what she called herself- answers the door and leads us to a family room. She tells us to have a seat, that Q. is busy with a "customer" and will be out in a minute. I sit on the couch. A minute later the door opens and she says the same thing to two more people. They sit on the couch on either side of me. My boyfriend goes to the kitchen to get some beers.

I look at the guy on my left. he looks like Larry the Cable guy, but meaner with acne scars. He is fully decked out in riding leathers, his patch on his chest says, "Butch." He smells like chicken soup or baked beans with a touch of pine sol.
I look to my right, the girl he came in with is equally decked out in leathers, hers red and black with significantly less fabric. She might have been cute once, but now she's tweaker- girl thin and her teeth look loose when she smiles. "I'm Loreen. Nice to meet you."

All I can think is: My mother would never believe me.
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