Thursday, December 6, 2007

Pornaments Part 2

The second year, I began searching in October--you know that time when some stores celebrate Hallochriskwanzakkah?
I lifted the robes of Santa ornaments to see if a tiny plastic penis would fit. I twisted
elves into sexual positions then left them hanging. I tested the sticking potential of several glues and bought a few classy back up ornaments in case the hostess decided to invite her church group.

But when December rolled around the ornament exchange invite came and the option of Pornament was mentioned. All righty- then.
Actually, the pressure was one. It was EXPECTED of me.

So I came up with this:
This is the woman who opened my pretty little box. the nutcracker in glued to the same base as the Santa, and his mouth- well, it does what a nutcracker's mouth is supposed to do.. except when you open Santa's robes...Surprise! they loved it. And fought over it. And someone from Florida ended up with it. I started thinking about going into business. Heck, I had enough glue and in a few weeks, all sorts of ornaments would be 75%off.
I brought an extra one that year. I really liked it and wanted to keep it for myself, but gave it up to the hostess's sister, who promised to take real good care of it.I call it, "Gotta Have Your Safari Lovin'."
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