A Shitty Start

She thought she had it all planned out, Christmas and New Year's: the arrival of the mother in law, the evenings with the children, the fancy night out, even the day spa and shopping spree. But there was something that eluded her, something she had no control over- something that snuck up from behind so to speak. Only days after surviving her own internal combustion issues, she was forced to deal with a sewage line that seemed similarly backed up. Plunging, praying and scooping didn't fix it. Children were questioned, motives analyzed as the water spilled and leaked onto tile and carpet she wanted desperately to replace. Her husband raised a brow. She shook her head, and the mother in law kept blowing her nose and grabbing tissues.
Then, in the middle of the night, after much water and insight, she had an idea.
So, instead of spending hundreds of dollars on doctors to fix herself, she spent it on a plumber who fixed a line that ran to a toilet that she wanted to replace inserted in a floor she wants to tear up in a room she wants to repaint. And when Mr. Plumber Man flushed the line midway through the yard and handfuls of facial tissue erupted from all the drains, she was able to say, "I told you so," to her man, the guy whose mother had decided 250 Kleenex tissues were better suited for the toilet than the wastebasket. A man who will undeniably be refurbishing the powder room, especially since a few days later that same toilet served as the porcelain god for a nine year with gastroenteritis.

Happy 2008, she says pouring another glass of wine.