Every fortune cookie saying automatically becomes funnier if you add these 3 words: IN THE BED.
A closed mouth gathers no feet. in the bed
He who throws dirt is losing ground. in the bed
You can always find happiness at work on Friday. in the bed
Do not mistake temptation for opportunity. in the bed
A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition. in the bed
The greatest danger could be your stupidity. in the bed
He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at. in the bed
He who laughs last is laughing at you. in the bed
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. in the bed
A cynic is only a frustrated optimist. in the bed
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind, and won't change the subject. in the bed
It doesn't matter. Who is without a flaw? in the bed
The world may be your oyster, but it doesn't mean you'll get its pearl. in the bed
Flattery will go far tonight. in the bed
now back to your regular programming.