Tuesday, March 9, 2010

What does it really mean to: Put it out there?

From ANCHORMAN: 
Ron Burgundy: I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.
[Veronica turns and walks away]
Ron Burgundy: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I... I wanna be on you.


I watched HOUSE last night with the family and I was reminded no less than 4 times how the woman reaching for her Mac to update her blog... was just like Mommy. How she is always putting it all out there. How sharing her whole life can be both stupid and boringly self indulgent.

And I might have agreed with them at one point in my computer addicted life, but now- at least this Spring, I have been too busy to commit to any sort of addiction- especially with the millions of blogs out there now. How can I possibly read, comment, post and reply in anything other than a sporadic fashion? Sorry to all the bloggers I love to read, to Churlita and Maypole and Joss and Dooce, to women in HI who make me weather jealous to funny mommies in Athens who are oh so pretty, to the men with wit, humor and nice abs, to the pathetic lonely ones who make me feel really kinda okay about my life, to the angry aggressive political ones who I pretend to read cuz it makes me look smart and involved... and really I just echo someone else's inane comment, to friends I've missed, to authors I love, to people I admire. ( and damn, now I want to go read them all)

I am trying to concentrate on smart career choices, blog with integrity,  trying to honor and respect privacy concerns, while learning about personal and public security. 
From sites like this: Please ROB ME.

I want to blab it all- how I feel about Obama, what I ate last night. How I am pissed to not have all the answers. 
It's hard to do the whole "life-edit" thing-- especially difficult for me, a woman who is generally an open book to friends, family and strangers- a real love me or leave me the heck alone, no holds barred, put it all out there kind of person...an attitude which can sometimes boomerang ...  
Putting it all out there was one of the things I thought would feed my creative soul, would give me fodder for writing, would draw exciting innovative new possibilities to me- networking with my peers who felt the same, finding groups of creative sorts who understood me, placing my work in journals and magazines and on sites where people could read and nod in understanding instead of questioning and judging. Maybe there were even other writers who would become lifelong friends because they too "got" what was in my head... the stuff that I was now spewing for the whole world to see. And it has, for the most part... course there are a few "followers" who are not exactly the kind I'd invite for diner, or even share my real name with... but I have found a few amazing muses along the way. People without whom I never would have found the characters for this latest novel.

I am beginning to step more cautiously forward, but still abide by my personal "tell them or they will never know" rule of life. And, so far when "putting it all out there," whether in words or in adventures, I have been blessedly protected by a miniature army of guardian angels.

Take my recent foray into a skanky low rent sleeze ball area of town, a bar where bikers (and I mean the noisy chromed motorized 2 wheel kind, not the healthy, muscle operated, skinny wheeled specialty shoes required kind of equally pricey yet much more quiet bikes) had preferred parking.
 My German import was the smallest car in the lot- check that. Only car. The rest of the vehicles were trucks and bigger trucks.
I knew stepping into the smoke-filled bar this was going to be one short visit. It's something a tiny part of my brain quickly assimilated as I noticed this was part drive through liquor store, part toothless people bar- part heavy metal band outdoor stage.
 But I was there to  meet someone. I'd promised to drop in. I'd promised to help if I could...Lord knows I am an enabler. So there I was, putting it out there, stepping from my car with a prayer on my tongue and the weight of 2 beefy angels on either shoulder. And a sober gal pal at my side.


Long story short. 20 minutes later we left- stinky smoky, still sober and pleased to have followed through.
 see.. that's life, if you open yourself to all that it has to offer, it's gonna want to be on you.

And as Paris would say, "That's hot."
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