Thursday, January 20, 2011

How's this whole New Year thing working out for you?

So far so good on my end. Thanks for asking. 
Sure, there have been a few glitches. 

Like a surprise snow-ice debaucle in the sunny South that left most rednecks scritching thar haids and saying, "Why lookie there."

Then going back inside for 7 days.
 Nah. That was just me.

Like most people entering a new year, I made some determinations- not resolutions. I do realize the difference. ANd the best part is- I never told anyone. So if I don't do them? Who will ever know. God, that sounds psychopathic.

It turns out, my kids are pretty good at the parenting part, so in a role reversal, when my brain is fried, or I am just too worn down to say "no" one more time, I let them tell me what to do. Take me to the mall. Let me have a sleepover. Order pizza. Buy  this thing on the internet that I don't need but you will never have to leave your desk chair and I will  go away and not bug you for another twenty minutes at least so you can continue to troll facebook profile pictures of strangers who look interesting because of the things in the background of their shadowy image uploaded at 3 AM.

I started a new novel.

Yep. That's all I'm saying right now.

I blew off the MRI for the shoulder, afraid of what they would tell me...finished the Naproxin and now just winch alot all day long. I created my own rehab program, with elastic bands, trips to the gym, yoga stretches and shots of tequila. So far, so good.

I rearranged my closet. To make room for more shoes.

I bought my kid a 5 foot long bean bag that took 45 minutes to re-fluff upon vacuum packed arrival, and totally killed my shoulder to haul up the stairs.

I have only been reading ebooks- which is strange. And wonderful.

I realized I went almost 2 months without really eating vegetables. I'm embarrassed to admit that. Which is not half as bad as my friend who admitted he'd gone almost 3 months without drinking any water. How do you even DO that?

I went to a passion party which is really a sex toy party and came up with all these ways to be a better salesgirl than the salesgirl, even got roped into a drunken yes moment with a gal pal asking me to start a business venture with her, but in the end, I just wrote a check and decided to write a story about the whole thing.

I can honestly say that I may have my hand in too many pies, my spoon in too many broths, my mind in too many gutters- I mean directions- and that I really should try to limit my tentacular reach so I can focus more... I just made up that word- tentacular. 
Go ahead. you can use it.

I'm still thinking about the drop some things part. 
Maybe I was born to be tentacular.

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