How to Hack Facebook.

Got your attention, didn't I?

We all know the power of social networks. They're great ways to promote yourself, your product, your business, your band... You can meet new friends, reconnect with old ones, relive your youth, spread good news and bad.. find a job, a lost purse, that scarf you left behind.
Photos can be uploaded in an instant, and you can share your adventures with friends who had to stay behind. Or taunt those of us too poor to do what you're doing.

If you're famous, your fans will follow you. If you're not- you might become famous- though not only in the best way. Some people have suffered from slander and libel and "re-branding" and had stalkers and imposters and even had their houses robbed when they posted they were on vacation... oh... all that stuff we hope never happens to us.

Sure, you may have typed some comments you've regretted- only to have them show up the next morning- but there is the DELETE button. Whew.
THAT IS....  Until someone wrote a program that allows you to view all deleted photos, comments and friends... hmmm. Somebody out there just HAD to know.

There have been posts that are the equivalent of  "drunk dial" regrets.
But of course there will always be that.

 Unlike Myspace, on Facebook, frequent status updates keep everyone in the know. Breakups announced via status updates, affairs uncovered via photos and comments linked to accounts you thought were private. The birth of babies, the first turn of the key in the new house. the divorce papers. A new puppy.


The strength and ease of such a network drew me in. Imagine? An aspiring novelist, yearning to make her mark on the literary world- on the world itself- launches a page with the goal to surround herself not with family or neighbors, but with writers, readers, book buyers.
Yes, it all started innocently enough.

Until all the hardwork ( 2725 frineds, 170 groups, 50 pages, 7 photo albums, 3 videos)-- POOF! disappeared with the flick of a button. I shit you not.

 A button owned and operated by FACEBOOK Administrators.

And WHY? No one's talking. It must be a SECRET.

 Those Men Behind the Curtain, issed a blip of a warning, then within seconds- made a computer decision  to tell me in no uncertain terms that posting 4 website links in 4 minutes to a writing contest:

was a no-no.

"your account has been disabled"
 which kind of sounds like:
 It's not you, it's me.
Things just aren't working out.
I'm sorry. I'll always love you.

Yeah.
 Not sure I'm feeling it Facebook. What do I do now? I made another account.
 Which brings up the "I closed that account, so eveything is gone, right? cover your ass mentality.
 well.. NOT SO MUCH.
 Look here.
  I'd rethink sending any messages via facebook that you want to keep private.

 Even UNFRIENDING isn't that simple. If you don't go in and remove your posts, photo comments and photos from the person's page that you are unfriending... they will still be there. yep.


 So, after a week of appealing to the unresponsive customer service/ diasbled facebook wizard... and hearing nothing, I took the advice of a commenter on a facebook fix-it forum who said he got his page back by slamming over one million emails to the appeals address.

Funny, how the very same activity that got me thrown off facebook, may very well get me re-activated.

Anastasia wants to come to America and kill somebody.

Probably her new husband.
We all get those odd spam emails from foreign countries. They want to give us money, they want us to give them money They want to be pen pals. they want to help us save money on penis enhancing pills that we don't even take. They want us to support wars, heal the sick and generally behave as if we are much more godly than you and I know to be true.
But this morning I had to laugh- an email from foxracer yielded this information:

Hello man my new friend!
I understand, that you do not know me and I do not know you, but probably in the future all can change. All good always occurs in the future and I ask a few patience from you to read my letter up to the end... . My name is Anastasia and to me it will be very pleasant, if you will name me so. Was born 34 years ago and all this time I live in Russia, in city of Kirov. ... life goes in regular intervals and every day is similar on previous. ... For all my life I could not meet the man to which I could trust completely and with which I would like to connect my
life, but very much I want.
Several days ago I laid at home on a sofa and thought. Why I am lonely? Why I cannot find my special the man?... Also I have thought. Why to not try to get acquainted with the man from other country if I could not find my special man here in Russia? Now we live in 21 century and I
know, that many people use the Internet ... I do not want to be lonely during my life or simply to sit and wait, when my love will come to me.

...and she goes on, though my mind drifts to yesterday's local headline about immigrants being responsible for increase in crime, which led some idiot to conclude the immigrants need some sort of tutoring when they move to the US so that they will understand the rules...wtf? like a USA handbook at every border?

...but the kicker is this picture of lovely ANASTASIA:It looks like she is hiding a blade or an icepick, that any minute- after the ceremony, after the joint bank account has been opened- after the fake pregnancy has been announced- she's going to rip off her wig and stab Mr. American Man Her New Friend.

Hard Drive Crash Surprisingly Liberating

After 22 months of daily, vigorous pounding. My MACBOOK took a crap.
Today I wear black, reinstall, update, restore.. put data from online storage sites and try to reconfigure a network of emails that I am certain are going to be important someday.
Yes, it stinks. And no there is no way to retrieve the lost data.
It's weird. I have been calm about the whole thing, made jokes even. So very unlike me.
Because I think I brought it all on myself by complaining just the other day about all the junk I had accumulated on there and wishing I could get a clean slate...

I am glad for a few things... specifically that I have saved many important documents to a flash drive and cds..oh, like 1000 pages of novels in progress.

But the ipod thing is confusing because it no longer recognizes this hard drive and thinks I am a pirate... and I will have to rebuy some software I'm sure...
ARGH.
So, instead of a leisurely week without kids and doing lots of writing. I will be be recreating my MAC world and probably swearing a lot. and apologizing to all the people whose emails I lost...

Birthday Spam

Someone must know it's my birthday today.
Why just in this morning's inbox I've received free Gevalia coffee, an exciting offer from a land sale firm, complimentary (look years younger) Hydroderm products and the opportunity to purchase Hollywood's #1 Fat Burner. I thought that was great until I learned my hotel inspired bedroom idea is kicking thing up at HGTV, and that my husband can enlarge his Johnson and be a walking hat rack for six small payments of $9.95.
THEN some guy from the UK emailed saying he wants to bring a group of students from Kings College to stay at my facility. He needs to know the rate so he can prepay said facility in advance of their arrival. Wow. I didn't even know I had a facility. Isn't this great?

I almost feel guilty that I am sniffly and only want to read, write and watch movies all day. After the fab bday bash this weekend, the Mexican feast family party planned tonight and an earlier negotiated bar run with the ladies coming up tomorrow, I'll have done my share of welcoming in the 45th year- you think?

So much to blog about

I was going to tell you about PORNAMENTS but that will have to wait until tomorrow.. because I have a problem.
Maybe you can help.
I have been reading someone else's email. And I don't feel bad about it. See, there is a guy who thinks his wife's email is MINE, and well, I have about 5 email accounts and just recently discovered this interesting correspondence. Nothing EXTREMELY personal has hit the monitor- yet- but I fear it's only a matter of time.
This is what I know:
He is a visiting Assistant Professor of Anthropology/Archaeology at a college in UMMM- let's say the Midwest and She is a biologist specializing in environmental concerns.
They travel- and miss each other- and I bet they play video games, have no kids an enjoy a dark red wine with their pasta.
But I could be wrong.
I do know that I felt a little guilty reading their mail in my mailbox, but now I go every day to look and see what they're up to, like they are characters in my book and I want to see what happens. That doesn't make me a bad person, does it?

Problem 2
Someone else erroneously emailed me - on another account- to say they are excited to be renting from me in six months time and want to know where to send the deposit and payment.
This sounds like a hoax, doesn't it? But what if...