Welcome to 2014

I used to get reminders from BlogHer when I didn't post anything for a two week span. It helped, those reminders, sort of like a homework assignment, or a work deadline.
 Left to my own devices, I was probably spending way too much time skimming pages on Pinterest for decor ideas, or sending away for land brochures and bookmarking fashion pages for shit I don't need or can't afford.
 Or maybe I was doing this.

 There were those chunks of days I dedicated to writing, and even bigger day chunks spent editing, submitting, revising ... so, that's something, because it's all about the AMOUNT of creative work you produce over your lifetime that will lead to greatest success ... according to a recent NPR episode that I chose to listen to rather than study my Spanish lesson.
 At least I wasn't doing this.

 So, that's something.

I have managed to corrupt, I mean entertain, a whole new group of players by starting a monthly Girls Night Out. I love these ladies. We laugh. A lot.
 There's also Book Club and Bunco, Poker for the boys and of course, a regular schedule of yoga and weight training, because some days I need to go out in the world and eavesdrop to get the perfect combination of imagination, dreamland and reality into a scene.
On that note, things are progressing with the pitching of the book/s. All good news and all very exciting. I've got the right people around me and the cards are finally in place.
 And I've got a bunch more flash fiction in the stack, now that I've decided once and for all to write without the self-editing/inhibiting questions of what would that person think or how would that group of people feel... 

 I encourage you to go out there and attack life this year. Find your passion. Seek what fuels you. Enjoy life, don't merely go through the motions. Dump negativity and surround yourself with people and things- if that's your kick- that make you feel good.

I'll be back in a few. Stay out of trouble. Dance. A lot. And eat healthy.

Maybe get a Roomba.

I don't have a swooping hairstyle, but I have a lazy eye

This is one of those rambling poorly punctuated, misspelled timer's set I've got ten minutes kind of posts.
 You know, typical Linda.

I'll go backwards first.
In college, I dated a very hot, straight hairstylist named Don. He was model gorgeous. Blond, blue-eyed, slim, but muscular. He was banging every broad in the hair salon, I later found out.. and some of them in the tanning bed... but that is beside the point.
 The thing is, he was staying over one night, in the house I shared with three men ( WHOLE other story), and he said, I need to show you something. Now you are going to see the real me.
 Um. yeah. that is EXACTLY like I felt.
I watched as he went to the mirror, poked around in his eye, then placed a single lens in a contact case.
When he turned around, his left eye was pointing directly at his nose, while his right eye stared at me, looking a bit ashamed.
For the money, I still thought he was beautiful.

Yesterday, when the news came out that doctors are warning kids and celebs that the

swoop over one eye hairstyle

 may be giving them lazy eye.. lack of light and stimulation, decreased muscle use, overuse to other eye... blah blah blah, I thought of two things: Don and Diane Sawyer, because she has a droopy left eyelid like me, and sometimes, when I'm really tired I hide it with a strong side part and long bangs.

Of course, Heidi Klum makes it look good with her hair pulled back.

And that is a whole lot of story to say, no one's eyes are perfect, as a matter of fact two of the top 20 super models of the 80's have one smaller eye. Go see. 

To me, they are still beautiful.

Hungry? Eat your clothes. Not kidding.

Just ran across this bizarre site.
Edible clothing.
yep.

Like this hat.

Okay, you might be saying, Linda, be serious that is just a chick with a cinnamon bun in her head. Oh yeah? Well, what about this from a recent fashion show where all of the

 elements were made of chocolate?

 I am thinking it could be the next Project Runway challenge.

Sure, we have all seen candy underwear. Those sheets of nasty green stick to your teeth "candy" and even some made of the strung candy necklaces or Smarties. But what about knitting up a pair yourself, with licorice laces?

   
Oh, what the heck. Let's go all the way. Give me a meal. Give me a spaghetti dress with a meatball necklace.  In the words of Tim Gunn, "Designers!??! Make it work."

Am I too slutty for Badminton?

Apparently there is a proper dress code for badminton. 
 I know.
You thought since it started with B.A.D. you could just run out and smack some birdies wearing your Def Leppard tee and cut-off jeans. Uh-uh, not happenin' sista.


According to this article, women players must now wear skirts... to appear more "womanly."
That's what it says.


Later they say something, blah blah blah about wanting to increase the waning viewership... so, why not put them in bikinis? It worked for women's beach volleyball. I bet some men in the stands don't even know the score at those events, unless they're counting how many times a butt cheek is flashed or a boob slip happens.


Badminton guys can wear this

or this

but the girls need to wear this from now on

which is causing problems with female players in Muslim countries... but that's a whole different story.


I say put the BAD back in badminton. Let the players choose.
we might see something like this:

or this:

which, I can pretty much assure you would do a helluva lot for the men's sport of competitive birdie swatting.

SAHM Fashion Trends

Spring is almost here, and if you're like most SAHMs, that means you'll be changing out your fleece sweat suit and sneakers for some jersey capris, t-shirt and sandals.

Of course, you may want to embrace the 2011 Spring Hairdo Trend. Guess what? It's bangs and bobs. Again.
 Surprise.

Should I admit now that when I was browsing shoes on Piperlime at 6 am I actually keyed in the words Spring 2010 fashion.
 And yeah, we both know this is 2011.

So, if you rarely shower before noon, find yourself bra-less in a ball cap and yoga pants most days when the Fedex guy shows up, I'm doing you a favor.

What to wear when you finally get out of the house this Spring, so you won't look like a total hermit or overworked Mommy who got her fashion tips from the Victoria's Secret Catalog.

• wide legged and bell bottomed jeans or trousers   (bye bye skinny jeans)
• lace, crochet, macrame accents ( not a bikini or a dress, please)
• floral and billowy tops  (this does not mean you can ditch the diet.)
• wedge shoes, booties     (walking downhill will never be the same)
• accessories that are textured: wooden, leather, neutrals
• denim, denim, denim  (finally, the 70's are back.)
• biker- inspired clothes and accessories  (aim for sleek leather and zippers, not rocker skank)
• maxi dress (sheer, is one way... but probably not for you.)
• capri pants (stop cheering. Yours are probably stained from jello shooters.)
• jumpsuit, not catsuit (yes, it will be a bitch to go pee.)
• stripes  ( maybe not horizontal. just sayin')
• crop tops and long tail hemlines ( if you're under 35)
• clogs ( 'nuf said.)
• kitten heels  (no animals were harmed in the naming of this shoe)
• cat eye sunglasses ( whew. I have the perfect pair in my glove box!)
• the belt purse  ( not a murse. not a fanny pack)

good luck SAHMs and happy dressing

This is How I'm Shopping Now

Wow.
 I just spent hours this weekend pawing through racks at discount stores to find a decent pair of well made, great fitting jeans, and then even more time trying on and rejecting said jeans in the fitting rooms of said discount stores.
 Right. I'm cheap. It's not a bad thing. And I like choices. maybe that was the problem?

 But look what I found today on my internet-- from good old  JCPenney.
 This is the coolest way to shop.

 check out what you can make the models do.
 turn. stand. look sexy. now... pretend it's you in those jeans

We used to call them wedgies.

We used to call them wedgies.
Originally uploaded by Another Good Thing

Before little boys discovered the laugh riot of yanking someone's underwear up into their butt crack.
So now, the fashion world calls this kind of shoe a platform with wedge heel.

The big players do it up in style:


Dolce and Gabbana $695

Prada $284

Pedro Garcia $395

Miu Miu $565

me. I just look on the racks at the discount stores and find the same thing- or cooler, for a lot less. ( $40) Then I store my pennies in a jar under the bed and save it for a rainy day in Belize.

Another reason to not buy a magazine for its cover.

Image of ultra-thin Ralph Lauren model sparks outrage

• by Brett Michael Dykes, 16 hours ago

In recent years an ongoing debate has brewed over advertisers and fashion magazines using photographs, particularly photographs of women, that have seemingly been altered, or "retouched," by airbrushing and photo editing software such as Photoshop. The latest such image to cause an uproar is one featured in a new Ralph Lauren advertisement that shows a model, Filippa Hamilton, so emaciated that her waist actually appears to be smaller than her head.

On September 29th, Boing Boing's Xeni Jardin posted the ad, which originally appeared on a blog dedicated to pointing out suspected retouched images called Photoshop Disasters, with the comment, "Dude, her head's bigger than her pelvis." Ralph Lauren responded by filing a Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) complaint against Boing Boing and Photoshop Disasters, claiming that their use of the image was a copyright infringement that fell outside of the Fair Use laws which allow the media to reproduce creative content for the purposes of commentary and criticism.

The Internet service provider hosting Photoshop Disasters (Google Blogspot) deleted the post containing the image, while Boing Boing's (Canada's Priority Colo.) did not. In response, Boing Boing editor Cory Doctorow issued a stern warning to Ralph Lauren yesterday on the website, saying that the company's attempt to silence their criticism has only inspired them to step up their efforts in the future:

"Copyright law doesn't give you the right to threaten your critics for pointing out the problems with your offerings. You should know better. And every time you threaten to sue us over stuff like this, we will:

a) Reproduce the original criticism, making damned sure that all our readers get a good, long look at it, and;

b) Publish your spurious legal threat along with copious mockery, so that it becomes highly ranked in search engines where other people you threaten can find it and take heart; and

c) Offer nourishing soup and sandwiches to your models."

The U.S. isn't the only place where advertisers are feeling the public backlash over retouching claims. Overseas, a recent Olay ad featuring a virtually wrinkle-free 59-year-old Twiggy caused such an uproar in the UK that the British Parliament recently proposed outlawing retouching in advertisements aimed at teenagers. The movement was initiated by the nation's Liberal Democrats, whose leader on the issue, Jo Swinson, said:

"Today's unrealistic idea of what is beautiful means that young girls are under more pressure now than they were even five years ago. Airbrushing means that adverts contain completely unattainable images that no one can live up to in real life. We need to help protect children from these pressures and we need to make a start by banning airbrushing in adverts aimed at them. The focus on women's appearance has got out of hand - no one really has perfect skin, perfect hair and a perfect figure, but women and young girls increasingly feel that nothing less than thin and perfect will do."

In the U.S., many retouched images featuring celebrities have been the subject of recent scorn, including a L'Oreal ad that lightened Beyonce's skin, an image of Jessica Alba airbrushed to feature a slimmer waist in a Campari ad, and an ad for London Fog featuring Gisele Bunchen in which her "baby bump" was removed.

In response to the growing concern over retouching, a website called About-Face, whose stated mission is to arm "women and girls with tools to understand and resist harmful media messages that affect their self-esteem and body image," has sprung up. The site features a "Gallery of Offenders" as well as a "Gallery of Winners" to highlight who the site's editors feel are the advertising industry's best and worst in regards to improving and harming the image of the modern woman. Site visitors can also contribute money to help offset its operating costs as well as expand programs designed to educate young women on beauty and self-image.

Another website to garner attention for its dedication to exposing photo retouching offenses is Jezebel.com. Speaking on the subject of retouching, Jezebel editor-in-chief Anna Holmes told Yahoo!, "I don't see any point in retouching anymore ... The cat's out of the bag." She added, "I think Americans in particular are sick of having the wool pulled over their eyes ... even if it's regarding fashion models and actresses. The more they do this sort of retouching -- and then try to justify it, as the editor of SELF magazine recently did -- the less anyone believes anything else they have to say, or show. They are, in a sense, digging their own (shallow) graves."

Whether or not Holmes is right about the digging of "shallow graves" remains to be seen, but companies like Ralph Lauren certainly don't appear to be helping their cause by attempting to silence their critics, as doing so has only increased the amount of negative attention to their already controversial ad.

Five Fall Fashion Must-Haves

As a Twittering Mom, I was recently offered a gift card to speak out on fashion.
God knows, I don't need any encouragement to speak out, and as a former Fashion student, this is one area that I actually say my opinions come from an educated background.

If you want to add your ideas, and win a gift card, go here and read the rules.

All right. Here you go.

1. Thigh high boots. Yes, I went there.

2. Black cotton leggings. With a wide comfortable waistband.

3. A "boyfriend jacket." cheap. expensive. Boyfriend not required.

4. Anything Biker. Leather is hot this season, also clunky boots and studs. (see above. Boyfriend not required)

5. Return to the 80's - from neon colors, big shoulder pads, disco dresses, funky tights and platform shoes. (one suggestion? skip the big hair)



Shop Smart. Look Fab.

Project Runway is back!

(sorry had to pull annoying video reel. go here to see more.


A move from Bravo to Lifetime, and odd delay and an odder still way to deal with fashion week, I am glad to see one of my favorite programs return to TV.
I will be programming the DVR to capture the late night shenanigans so that I can enjoy the show sans commercials over lunch.. and thinking of ways to organize a girlfriend weekend that incorporates design challenges and back to back PR episodes.

The Circle of Life

Don't worry I'm not going to go Disney on you. I was just remarking the other day that if life is cyclical, as we all believe it to be, wouldn't it be nice to know if you're on the side of the wheel that's going up? Or the side that's coming down...

In my head, the circle isn't lying flat and logical on a piece of paper, it's more like a big ferris wheel, or a 3D circle movie in a really big theater, with super expensive tickets and loads of advertising.

I took classes in fashion design in college, and one of the things my professor went on and on about was how hemlines of women's skirts and the stock market move in the same direction, which I thought was kind of funny, as most people know how male oriented the stock exchange is... don't they? Or maybe that was the point?
At any rate, if you look at history, it's pretty much right on the money. Miniskirt? stocks up. Maxi/ peasant dresses? stock market down.

In my own little circle of life, I went from fashion classes to finance classes... perfecting the pre-mentioned model.
These days, my cyclical life is a bit more complicated, with more cogs on the wheel, more spokes to stick my playing cards in, and yet? I'm still interested in what's around the corner. ( think about the following fashion trend as an analogy for your life cycle with relationships? with exercise? with jobs? with friends? with food/diet/alcohol? with your belief system? with your family?)

Think of me as the student in the back of the classroom in the 80's scribbling away in her notebook, choosing one element of women's fashion to expose the theory : a woman's shoulder.
1980's shoulder pads were in, the bigger the better, A masculine look was key. They were everywhere, sewn into jackets, velcroed to shirts, added to lingerie straps. As the decade wore on they were reduced in size until by the late nineties we were cutting them out of anything we still wanted to wear. The shoulder started to drop, with wider open collars, the off the shoulder look, the slumped, sexy, skin revealing, more feminine look came back. By the end of that decade, cap sleeves, pointed futuristic shoulder details brought more attention to the shoulder,
reducing the fabric until it became an asymmetrical approach, the single shoulder strap, the one arm bared, and then of course, with no place else to go? The shoulder is completely bared with the return of the tube top, the corset, the bared shoulder and arm was all over at this event.

Sure, weather can have something to do with fashion trends, but let me be the first to warn you, the shoulder is coming back in 2010 and it's going to be big and bad and spacy.
And you're going to wish you'd kept that old suit.

Life on earth is cyclical. The great part about that is you always know where you’re headed next.

Saying Goodbye to a Comedic Dynasty.

You've all seen them. The wild and sometimes disturbing t-shirts of T-Shirt Hell. My confession? I find even the creepy ones quite smart.

Well, it will be over soon. here's a message from the owner/creator:

I'm done. I'm finished. I can't take the stupidity anymore, so I'm leaving and I'm taking my website with me. As of Tuesday, Feb 10, 2009, T-Shirt Hell will be no more. No, I'm not selling out to some douchebag corporate entity. No, we're not being sued by any of the over 40 companies that have sent us cease and desists over the years. No, I'm not going to jail (yet) and no, it's not because of the economy. Although, the recent dip in sales certainly does make the idea easier to accept, even though we still sell over 3000 shirts a week. I started this company in June of 2001, nearly 8 years ago, with the intention of producing the best satirical, the most controversial, the funniest t-shirts on the internet. Generally speaking, I feel I've accomplished that and am satisfied with what we've put out. I made a shitload of dough along the way. I've done cocaine off the better body parts of supermodels. I've even raped and killed a mountain panda in the hills of Shaanxi. But these perks are besides the point. I just don't feel like dealing with idiots anymore. Wow. I would love to be able to say that... just the last part I mean. Here's some of the shirts this company is famous for- and even more here.with a WARNING or two.

My birthday's in March.

My son sprinted out of the awkward stage- from crooked teeth to pierced ears.

Like most parents, we are warned at the outset how expensive our bundles of joy will be. No one ever factors in anguish, mental health or the gallons of sanity reviving alcohol you will need, but one thing most folks agree on is the huge cost of medical and dental care.

We were lucky to have easy pregnancies, healthy kids and generally a carefree attitude about viruses, immunizations and doctors in general. If it ain't THAT broke, don't spend hours where sick people go.( you will defintely be sick after that, and maybe so well informed about the things you DON'T have, that you may find yourself self-diagnosing to the extreme.)

A recent trip to the pediatrician was eye opening when we figured out my 10 year old had not been to the doctor since she was 5. Oops. And the 14 year old would be needing a different practice.
I blame my parents. We weren't real big on doctors then either. As a matter of fact, I broke my arm when I was 5 and walked around with a fracture for 2 weeks, until they finally figured out maybe I wasn't kidding. I still remember the talking to the doc gave them, and the drama of getting the cast off the day before kindergarten began.

But the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. When my 2 year old tripped over a Pringle's can and fell headfirst into the tracks of a sliding closet door, i had to call the nurse neighbor to ask her what to do, to have her come take a look. When she told me to "take her in for some stitches", I had to have her explain that meant going to the ER, and then I had to have her draw me a map to the hospital.
I know. I'm a horrible mother.
So, when the dentist told me my son would need orthodontia, and recommended the guy next door. I jumped at the chance to do all the right things.
Never having worn braces myself, and only having heard the horror stories of my husband's experience- end result for him broke parents and not so pretty teeth, I needed a bit of cajoling.
The handsome young Elvis-looking dentist twisted my arm, and we were in for about 3 grand, and almost 3 years... from xrays and spreaders to an expanding device with a key you can swallow- yikes- to top and bottom braces, all kinds of rubber bands, buttons and teeth removal, even some gum slicing along the way and finally retainers- one which will be bonded permanently to the back of the lower teeth, well, until we get it removed.
My kid's a trooper.
Here he is at 11 years and 10 months.

And here he is today, at 14 years and 9 months. Almost entirely braces free. (rest of lowers come off next week with new retainers)
The orthodontist gave him soft chewy candy and a balloon. What did I get? Satisfaction.

Where did that little boy go?

You say Ibiza. I say Shoes.

I could tell you all about the crazy time I had on the island of Ibiza. I could regale you with tales of dancing, drinking and oh-so-typical Linda behavior... but then you might hate me.
Instead, I give you my pink pointy Spanish shoes... just another thing we sucky unoriginal Americans can steal.

Sandal of silver strings and knots

Sandal of silver strings and knots
Originally uploaded by Another Good Thing

Happy Thanksgiving.
Yes, even today I have to stick to my 30 days of shoes blog promise. This sandal, a complicated silver strap, tie, knot, twist and wrap espadrille is another shoe that was practically stolen at an 80% off sale. So when I only break her out once a year, I don't feel guilty.
Symbolically, it's a good shoe for today when families and friends come together, each bringing their own knots and ties, a complicated mess that when wrapped up correctly binds forever, or even when only wrapped very very poorly with spit and a promise.

Don't be hatin' on my French shoes.

Despite one uncomfortable episode with a Frenchman in Aix en Provence many years ago, I still maintain my love for all things French. Now that my son is taking French classes, we irritate the shit out of the non- French speakers in the house. Love that too.
These rubber wedge shoes from Rocket Dog (a young-minded footwear and clothing company founded in 1997, and named after Max, the speedy mutt of one of the creators. The Rocket Dog consumer is an independent freethinker that shuns the polished look and materialism of the previous generation) amuse and delight me, like France.
Okay, I may be stretching the whole fleur de lis Monarchy symbolism blahblahblah, but hey, how else was I going to talk about France and dog Americans who don't get the whole French thing?
If I had a scanner ( hint hint, Santa) I would insert my Rainy Day Parisian Lemonade Vendor photograph and tell you the story of waking up in the wrong bed in la Côte d’Azur. Guess you'll have to wait.

Which Sex and the City girl are you?

You know you're all thinking it, even some of the guys in the audience won't admit it, we all find a bit of ourselves in those four characters.
Some ladies used the movie as an excuse for a girls night out.
Kind of like what I did last night with my three regular pals and a new fun extra.

The foreplay? A little hummus and pita bread and whole lot of Pinot Grigio. The consensus of the movie? Well, we weren't there for the plot, and we actually clapped and hooted for a few scenes, so I'd say entertainment value was there... not sure how much the Pinot helped.

I think I need to buy a black studded belt though
and definitely have moved the Manolos up on the wish list. all in all a fun night, though much too short, and the perfect cap to a weekend that started early with my remodelers no-showing me on Friday leading to a shopping spree followed by bunko with a yummy ginger drink that no matter how much I drank I didn't feel it... the final dance recital of the year and a night of sushi and a fun day in the sun with a novel on Sunday.
Off to another author event tonight and happy to report the shower and toilet room is almost 100% complete. Almost. The front room? Not so much.
Photos soon.

Top Model has BOOTY, and Seeing DOUBLE.

Good to see a regular gal get recognized for her beauty. Good one, Tyra.
Now let's see how long it takes for the fashion world to ask Miss Whitney to lose some weight.

On the OTHER American show- the one WE get to vote in... it's the duel of the DAVIDS. Both my pick from the beginning, one because he's great and the other because he'll get sympathy votes. Wonder if they take wagers in Vegas?
Somewhere I read they're calling it the battle of the David Dream-o and the David Emo. Then I saw this. Poor little ...gasp.. gasp... dude.

May 22 is the premiere to a fav show, followed by this relative newcomer in June. Both get me thinking I can do more and better- both dangerous concepts.

In other news, my long hair rocker son wants to buzz it all off. He used to wear it in a spiked up do.. then spent years growing it long and reveling in it- even last week donning a sumo wrestler ponytail. I think he'll be disappointed in a shorter cut, just like ALL the other times, but what can I do? It's his teen-aged head and from the way he was staring at the clippers last night I think he may end up doing it himself if I don't step in.
Any ideas?

I'll bet this designer loves Carol Burnett.

It's getting close to choosing a Project Runway winner. Of course I cheated and downloaded all the fashion week photos days and days ago, feeling for a brief moment like the rich front row gal with the clipboard and an order form- though probably even in my daydream I was only the assistant to the rich girl- my other life phase- the buyer. First I skimmed them trying to see Christian's flair, Chris's showmanship, Rami's drapery and Jillian's classic style tweaked to runway edge- boy was I surprised to see SweetP's collection. Life and reality TV- so not the same thing.
And yes, I am still waiting for SOMEONE to write a tell all Survivor book, contract be damned.

On the book front, I was able to run out in the cold to WORDSMITH'S and see my pal, Karin Gillespie AKA Karen Neches read from her new book, EARTHLY PLEASURES.
It's going in my bag for Spring Break reads, as well as her pal's THE ROMANCE READERS BOOK CLUB. That would be Julie L. Cannon-- an author who had to add an L. to differentiate her work from the new lesbian erotica writer... hmmm. If all it took was an "L"? Just kidding Julie.
I like to mix the light in with the heavy. I finished Harlen Coben's The Woods- love his stuff, and am halfway through an ARC which has since been released called, SEEING ME NAKED.
Also completing the Richard Ford edited Granta Book of the American Short Story, and oh, that's a big one.