Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Screw Christmas. This is the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

Imagine this.
You can be whatever you want to be. Dress however you want.
Excessive make-up on men and women is very very good. Non-sensible shoes and improper lingerie are considered de rigeur. You can choose ugly or pretty. Sexy or disgusting. No one will judge you. Some people may not even recognize you. You are free from societal boundaries.
Chocolate eating is mandatory. Pumpkins are in fashion, moreso when decimated and toilet paper finds a whole new use- alert Martha.
Take a break from household chores. Your house should be full of spider webs and gooey, dead things. It should be dark, dank and dusty. Children should not want to knock on your door. Jehovah's Witnesses will pedal right on by.
Strangers will give candy. Black is the the new white.

No matter how much you say you are strong and brave and grown-up, there is a part of you that can't wait for Haunted Houses
where screaming is welcome and creepy men breath on your neck before they pull the cord on the chainsaw. You will pray- even if you are not religious- omigod omigod omigod- offering praise like caramels to the people paid to act like children. People you will dream of days later, while tossing in your safe bed.
My house is almost ready, with about three hundred bucks worth of ghouls, lights, sound effects and machinery. The Annual Netherworld Girls Night Out Haunted House excursion is planned. Outfits for two parties are waiting in the wings and three and a half large bags of the the good candy are hidden in the laundry room.
Happy Halloween Month.
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